Wednesday, September 25, 2002
Just had the weirdest conversation with this girl. It was about the band Guster and every time I tried to explain myself to her, she just kept looking at me as though I was a lunatic. It was so intensly horrifying that at one point, I looked down and noticed that I was pinching my dick in my fingers. I was PINCHING my DICK in my fingers! I was that uncomfortable! I hope she didn't notice.
In any case...I heard this amazing rumor that the fifth floor of our building contains slices of pizza free for the taking. I will immediately be going up there, eating what I can and stuffing the rest into my pockets for later.
So just now, this old Orthodox Jewish man walks in and asks to talk to the head rabbi. I knock on the rabbi's door to see if he is in a meeting. He is in fact in a meeting with a student. A private meeting. I turn to tell the asshole that he can't come in right now and this little shit shoves me aside with one hand and continues to barrel into the office.
I look at the head Rabbi and make a smarmy "fuck you" face at the guy and then proceed back to my desk.
I just love rude buttholes.
That dick just walked over and goes: "WHERE DO I GET WATER?"
Instead of pointing out the very clearly marked Poland Spring Water cooler in front of his face, I sent him to the bathrooms on the 2nd floor. He is old and an asshole and I just sent him to get toilet water. That will teach you to be so fucking inconsiderate my douchebag friend.
I am using a new gel. I opened up the bottle this morning and used my usual amount. What I didn't count on was the fact that this gel is similar to cement and when dry...feels like I have a spikey helmet on. I keep playing with it and I am so afraid that it is going to rub out without me realizing it and turn the top of my head into Old Smokey.
Memble Old Smokey?
Memble how a meatball rolled down Old Smokey once?
If you have no idea what I am talking about, just continue on...
If you do know what I am talking about, take a pause to laugh a little.
Have to admit...Las Vegas Real World last night was MUCH MUCH better. The people have started to "let go" a bit and not act like such fucks. I mean that literally. They are fucks cuz all they do is fucks.
Fucksing annoy me.
Last night was decent. Then I watched the Making of the Video with Kelly Clarkson. SNANORE!
Nuff said.
She's a tad ugly that one. I don't know. Something's up with her face.
OK! BIG NEWS!
(ooh...hot Jewish boy just walked by)(not the big news, although it should be considering that I work in a place for the ugly)
So the big news is two-fold. First the biggest part...
Last night Mariah and her roommate Rachel went to this club called Suede because Joey Fatone was going to be there doing a special Joey Fatone type show. Whatever, he is such a fuck.
Anyway...if you recall...Mariah's friend Rachel sucked Joey's dick about a hundred times during that evening and the following day. He also ate her out. She also had a yeast infection when he did it.
Fucking nast. But whatever...when you're hungry, you're hungry.
So, Mariah and Rachel go to Suede last night to see him perform in his show. He recognizes the two of them immediatly and spends a great portion of the night hanging with them. According to Mariah, he is really smitten with Rachel.
Twatever.
But the BIG NEWS is that Justin "The Fucking Man" Timberlake shows up at the club and Mariah MEETS him and then he KISSES her on the right cheek and then he hangs with her for awhile. UMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
UMMMMMMMMMMMM!
hey...
UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
Fucking amazing! And why the FUCK didn't I go with them?!?!?!?!?!?!
Argh!
I have yet to speak to Mariah in person about all of this. She left these details on our answering machine this morning.
I just left her a message telling her to call my sorry ass back asap.
So yeah.
Second big news is that she is having a show on October 26th at a bar downtown. The cost at the door is $15 and we are ALL going to support her, k? The place holds 100 people and I plan to do whatever I can to fill the place. Wanna go?
If you are reading this now, you are more than invited. I will contact the rest of you via email. How fun, right? She will be doing 6 songs.
I was going to guestspot on one of them, but I think it depends on whether or not I want to preview my new album or whatever.
Eh...we'll see...
Man. I REALLY hope these erotic feelings for Eli go away soon. No joke...he is limping cuz he twisted his ankle and he also has a stye on his eye that is the size of Vesuvius and I STILL want him to come sit at my desk and give me kisses and hugs.
I don't think I want his dick in my mouth just yet. Maybe after he buys me dinner.
I am so hungry for lunch right now. I have been starving since 10am, but I have held myself back, cuz I know that this hunger is based from my lack of smoking. The last thing I need in my life is to start acting, but weighing 50 pounds more. Then the only parts I will get will be Jaba the Hut or the Nutty Professor 3.
Which may not be so bad.
Alright ya'll.
Mariah is on the phone!!!!!!!
In any case...I heard this amazing rumor that the fifth floor of our building contains slices of pizza free for the taking. I will immediately be going up there, eating what I can and stuffing the rest into my pockets for later.
So just now, this old Orthodox Jewish man walks in and asks to talk to the head rabbi. I knock on the rabbi's door to see if he is in a meeting. He is in fact in a meeting with a student. A private meeting. I turn to tell the asshole that he can't come in right now and this little shit shoves me aside with one hand and continues to barrel into the office.
I look at the head Rabbi and make a smarmy "fuck you" face at the guy and then proceed back to my desk.
I just love rude buttholes.
That dick just walked over and goes: "WHERE DO I GET WATER?"
Instead of pointing out the very clearly marked Poland Spring Water cooler in front of his face, I sent him to the bathrooms on the 2nd floor. He is old and an asshole and I just sent him to get toilet water. That will teach you to be so fucking inconsiderate my douchebag friend.
I am using a new gel. I opened up the bottle this morning and used my usual amount. What I didn't count on was the fact that this gel is similar to cement and when dry...feels like I have a spikey helmet on. I keep playing with it and I am so afraid that it is going to rub out without me realizing it and turn the top of my head into Old Smokey.
Memble Old Smokey?
Memble how a meatball rolled down Old Smokey once?
If you have no idea what I am talking about, just continue on...
If you do know what I am talking about, take a pause to laugh a little.
Have to admit...Las Vegas Real World last night was MUCH MUCH better. The people have started to "let go" a bit and not act like such fucks. I mean that literally. They are fucks cuz all they do is fucks.
Fucksing annoy me.
Last night was decent. Then I watched the Making of the Video with Kelly Clarkson. SNANORE!
Nuff said.
She's a tad ugly that one. I don't know. Something's up with her face.
OK! BIG NEWS!
(ooh...hot Jewish boy just walked by)(not the big news, although it should be considering that I work in a place for the ugly)
So the big news is two-fold. First the biggest part...
Last night Mariah and her roommate Rachel went to this club called Suede because Joey Fatone was going to be there doing a special Joey Fatone type show. Whatever, he is such a fuck.
Anyway...if you recall...Mariah's friend Rachel sucked Joey's dick about a hundred times during that evening and the following day. He also ate her out. She also had a yeast infection when he did it.
Fucking nast. But whatever...when you're hungry, you're hungry.
So, Mariah and Rachel go to Suede last night to see him perform in his show. He recognizes the two of them immediatly and spends a great portion of the night hanging with them. According to Mariah, he is really smitten with Rachel.
Twatever.
But the BIG NEWS is that Justin "The Fucking Man" Timberlake shows up at the club and Mariah MEETS him and then he KISSES her on the right cheek and then he hangs with her for awhile. UMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
UMMMMMMMMMMMM!
hey...
UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!
Fucking amazing! And why the FUCK didn't I go with them?!?!?!?!?!?!
Argh!
I have yet to speak to Mariah in person about all of this. She left these details on our answering machine this morning.
I just left her a message telling her to call my sorry ass back asap.
So yeah.
Second big news is that she is having a show on October 26th at a bar downtown. The cost at the door is $15 and we are ALL going to support her, k? The place holds 100 people and I plan to do whatever I can to fill the place. Wanna go?
If you are reading this now, you are more than invited. I will contact the rest of you via email. How fun, right? She will be doing 6 songs.
I was going to guestspot on one of them, but I think it depends on whether or not I want to preview my new album or whatever.
Eh...we'll see...
Man. I REALLY hope these erotic feelings for Eli go away soon. No joke...he is limping cuz he twisted his ankle and he also has a stye on his eye that is the size of Vesuvius and I STILL want him to come sit at my desk and give me kisses and hugs.
I don't think I want his dick in my mouth just yet. Maybe after he buys me dinner.
I am so hungry for lunch right now. I have been starving since 10am, but I have held myself back, cuz I know that this hunger is based from my lack of smoking. The last thing I need in my life is to start acting, but weighing 50 pounds more. Then the only parts I will get will be Jaba the Hut or the Nutty Professor 3.
Which may not be so bad.
Alright ya'll.
Mariah is on the phone!!!!!!!
